Too Busy for People

Too Busy for People

By Ed Vasicek

The faithful employee had labored at the department store for years.   What would his supervisors do with him, now that he had become deaf?  One seasoned manager experienced a brainstorm:  "I know what to do with him!   We'll put him in charge of the complaint department!"

Sometimes WE are deaf to the cry of our own common sense.    We are busier than we care to be, vow to make changes, but never get around to it.

Greetings and welcome to another column in our "Social Connectedness" series.   Thus far I have attempted to convince you that it is important to our own selves and to our community that we hook up to others socially.   I have offered two suggestions to nudge us in that direction: cut down on the time we watch TV and begin perusing the community paper.    Today I would like to offer a third suggestion, simplifying life and carving out time to be social.

As a busy minister, I occasionally feel ready for a straight jacket.   I am never caught up with my responsibilities, and constantly feel the pull to add more to a bursting routine.   Recently, during a particularly busy week, I felt as though I had totally exhausted my adrenaline supply.   On Saturday (my day off), I woke up about 10a.m. and notified my wife, "I've never had a hangover in my life.  But if I had one, this is how it would feel."   Fortunately for me, such times are the exception, not the rule.

True, I'll never be caught up with my responsibilities.  But that does not keep me from smelling the roses, enjoying life, relishing my family, making friends, or schmoozing in the community.   In the past, I firmly decided not to allow the socially dysfunctional to set my agenda: I make the time to be social and have found my life richer because of it.  Unfortunately, the statistics show my tribe is decreasing:  people are becoming less social.   Many folks claim a lack of time as their exemption for being social.

Richard Swenson in his book, "Margin," discusses how progress consumes our time:   "True, we get to places faster-but we have more places to go.  A net loss.   We have devices to help us clean-but we have more things stuffed into more square footage to clean.  A net loss...."

Many of us choose a lifestyle that precludes the possibility of social (and family) life.  Swenson tells us, for example, that the average American commutes 45 minutes per day and watches 1,700 hours of television every year.  

A lot of folks lock themselves into  time-eroding patterns that leaves little opportunity for socializing.   Think of all the time saved between:  (1) a small lawn to mow and a large one, (2) a short commute to work and a long one, (3) a walk to the hardware store vs. a long drive to the other end of town, (3) a stay-at-home mom, a part-time working mom, and a full-time working mom, (4) an occasional TV watcher and a TV/video/computer obsessive, (5) a work week of 40 hours and 60 hours.

Let's face it: in the real world, some of the above situations are unavoidable.   But sometimes they generate from a lack of foresight: too nice a house (or car) means mom has to work full time (or dad takes an additional job); weekends exist for manicuring that vast lawn.    Taking the better job in Indianapolis may generate more currency, but what about time and energy?  Just as we must balance the financial ledger, so must balance the time and energy ledger.

Still others find themselves with shallow social lives because they are too busy trying to keep up with a vast number of friends; they exemplify an obsessive sort of socializing that is counter-productive.  More is not always better.

To develop a meaningful sense of connectedness, we must have balance, time, and energy to be social.   If we totally exhaust our time and energy in other arenas, both our family lives and our social lives will take the hit.